Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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