yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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