fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
