No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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