Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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