I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
His nipple licking is glorious
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