Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
