saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
