He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you would pick up someone in the library
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize