They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
