no you cant smoke seaweed
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
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