I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
