You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
