i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
