just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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