She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Randomize
