You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
