But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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