My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize