If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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