I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
