It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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