I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
