He disabled his match.com account in front of me
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
