porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
