So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
