either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
