Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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