I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
