i jhust puked up my retainher.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
