Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
