I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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