I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize