...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
