o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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