Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Can I color on your dick again?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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