Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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