apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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