Don't make out with my wife yet
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
