i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
