buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
