He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
