just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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