So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
