so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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