Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Can I color on your dick again?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
