I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
