I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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