Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
