I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
