in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
