He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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