Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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