Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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