I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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