well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
