I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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