she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
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