Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize