Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Life is so much better after having sex.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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