He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
