I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
