My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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