I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
