unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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