How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
