Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
