You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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