I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
