Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
