You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
PANTIES FOUND
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