There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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