haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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