Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
