i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
