How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
