worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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